What does that mean anyway? ohgohly mohgoly? It means I had lost my password and couldn't access my account till now! WHY? Because I failed to read the fine print! HOI!!! Really woman? You manage to birth and raise 8 little people but you can't figure out how to reset your password? Not to mention the fact that you daringly have driven across the country with all 8m kids, the 2 dogs, and whatever belongings you have left because you gave the rest away! I believe there is a name for this but I wont go there! LOL!!!
Either way it's good to be back and a myriad of things have happened. While forgetting my password was one small part of it it actually played into a rather BIG part of it!
I had also forgotten ME!!! How? How could I forget me? Well, I will explain.
We began this adventure with the intent of growing a deeper awareness of who I/ we were. Of embracing ALL life had to offer as well as personal developement. But here I was losing myself in this idea of what this adventure "should" mean and how I was participating or not. Whether it was fitting the image I wanted it to portray or not...... Well I am out of the box again and no longer going to wrangle myself in according to the inner voices of conformity that say, a mom should this or a mom should that... I am just gonna BE ME!! Darn it!! HA! So, there.
After I came to this all of a sudden resetting my password was a breeze and within minutes I was able to accomplish what I couldn't in months! Do you hear what I am saying? When I got back in tune with me, it became easy! EVERYTHING!! When I was attempting to be what I thought I "should" or what others wanted, MONTHS!!!
Maybe, you'll see the connection maybe you wont either way it feels good to be free!
Where to start its December now. I've not posted anything since MAY!!!!! Do I recap or just go forward? FORWARD!! Always forward, although I am believing recaps will pop up here and there, or you can just read the book ;)hehe
So, we are now in Crawfordsville, Indiana. Interesting little place, it grows on you. It's not as 'cute' as some of the neighboring towns. And when I say neighboring I am not meaning like blurred lines where you in inadvertently drive from one town to the next. Or like when I lived in Utah and I was uncertain which city I mwas in because South Jordan and West Jordan city lines were on 9400 South. I mean you literally have to drive MILES to the other towns! I've never experienced this before.
In South Jordan we had the luxury of living within driving distance of a Costco, SAMS Club, and a variety of other grocers and retailers. Now, the closest mall is in Lafayette, a good 45 min. drive. And in our gas guzzler, Bessie. It doesn't happen often.
I actually miss SAMS and Costco. I also miss Harmon's a local grocer in Utah. Interesting how things become so familiar and you begin to take them for granted. We had to drive to Lebannon, (leh-buh-nun). The wrong pronunciation is typically followed with a correct local pronunciation. It is not phonetic! I would say (Leh-buh-non) and the would say (Leh-buh-nun) EVERYTIME! It was kind of funny until I began to pick up on the local accent. Rob just laughs at me. hmmmm. wonder how long this will last and if it's as bad as he makes it seem. I think he's just teasing me to watch me wriggle. I'm sure its not bad a at all but I do now say (Leh-buh-nun) now. Anyway it was a good 45 to an hour drive just to go to our bank! ugh!!!With nothing but cornfields and occasional houses set far back off the road to look at. In all honesty, I miss Utah. We all do.
My Uncle Sale recently passed away and that's when it really hit me. That I wasn't "home". His funeral came and went and I couldn't be there. I can't even call home because it hurts too much. He had a brain aneurism and died unexpectedly. It's day's like this I wonder if I've lost my mind. However, it's also days like this I remember that other than this, it's been worth every minute!! Guess you gotta learn to live in the potential of what could be. I believe in God and know I will see him, my uncle Sale, again. And in reality had I been there, other than showing support for my sweet auntie and her amazing kids, what would I be doing? Still waiting to fulfill MY dream?
We all have a purpose and "EVERYTHING FOR A REASON!" this has been echoing in every moment of my life lately. And when I say that I mean, I literally hear it echo in my soul. As though it's attempting to remind me to keep believing in things I cannot control, change, or understand! God is wise! Just let it be :)
So, we are here in Crawfordsville, which is endearingly C'ville, and staying with some new found friends. They heard we were in town and thought it'd be cool to get to know us. The weather began to turn cold and they extended the option to stay with them to us. We've been here since about Roberts birthday. In fact we celebrated Robert's birthday here with them. It must have been the 22nd or 23rd of October.
They have 4 little kids and huge hearts! It feels more like family than friends. Some day's that makes me miss Utah more. The familiarity of family and friends.
There house is cool it was built in the late 1800's. Everything here has an antique charm. A remembrance of a world before ours. In the west it isn't quite like this. These big beautiful homes and architect aren't as common. "Servant's quarters" aren't the norm in the older homes there. Its basically the back side of the house or rooms that aren't as fancy as the rest of the house. Really makes me appreciate our evolvement. Also, makes me realize how far we need yet to go.
Much love to you and yours! Hug them tight! Make time to show you care. Saying "I love you" is powerful especially if you don't start incorporating it! You've only live once, live it to the fullest, with the most amount of joy!
And this time I'll be back SOON!!
I love you! Whether I know you or not we're all connected :)
Aloha,
Leilani
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Sorry, it's been awhile :) We've been in paradise!
My sweet friends! So sorry I've not been very consistent at keeping you up to date with all the crazy happenings! And trust me there have been some.
We actually are in Paradise! Ok it's not Kauai as I had planned, but it is Paradise.... Nevada :)
We made it here on Mother's day hence I didn't get to share my fun video that I made for you, but know I was thinking of you and wanted you to know that i was. I may still post it here...better late than never !
So we came to Nevada on our way to take care of some things in Utah! However, after we had been here a day my awesome brother and dad taught Robert to change the brakes! Woo hoo!
We had intended to leave the next day because we were going to go to Utah and then off to Kauai. And yes, I really intend for us to go THIS summer! However, when we tested the brakes we discovered a problem we hadn't intended. Our brake lights were no longer working...electrical! ugh! We are still attempting to diagnose the problem but we really aren't in a hurry. Just enjoying being with my folks, brother,
and his beauty -full children. Not to mention my awesome nephew Brick... when he's around! haha
When thing i have learned though is that kids are far more adaptable then adults BUT they are great at mimicing us..I'll be more aware of maintaining a positive outlook, even more than usual!
Love, light, n' aloha!!!!
We actually are in Paradise! Ok it's not Kauai as I had planned, but it is Paradise.... Nevada :)
We made it here on Mother's day hence I didn't get to share my fun video that I made for you, but know I was thinking of you and wanted you to know that i was. I may still post it here...better late than never !
So we came to Nevada on our way to take care of some things in Utah! However, after we had been here a day my awesome brother and dad taught Robert to change the brakes! Woo hoo!
We had intended to leave the next day because we were going to go to Utah and then off to Kauai. And yes, I really intend for us to go THIS summer! However, when we tested the brakes we discovered a problem we hadn't intended. Our brake lights were no longer working...electrical! ugh! We are still attempting to diagnose the problem but we really aren't in a hurry. Just enjoying being with my folks, brother,
and his beauty -full children. Not to mention my awesome nephew Brick... when he's around! haha
When thing i have learned though is that kids are far more adaptable then adults BUT they are great at mimicing us..I'll be more aware of maintaining a positive outlook, even more than usual!
Love, light, n' aloha!!!!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
We need to put on the brakes!
On the van not our life! Last week we took the kids to the Grand Canyon. I have always wanted to go and when we first decided we were going to attempt this that was a destination that came up first. So, we drove into Williams AZ. Tuesday night. We spent the night at Motel 6. And I cried! It was icky! I tried to not let it bug me we've stayed all sorts of places while on this adventure. Including a motel 6 in Wyoming. It was really update and nice. Our hotel stays are always contingent on their animal policy being we have the 2 dogs. Citrine, the cat, found a new home while we were in Oceanside CA. And no we did not "dump" her. There was a very sweet lady who actually was very drawn to her and Citrine had just proven that she was done with our journey by peeing on "my" sleeping bag and being i was the last one holding on to her. That act of miterating made the release to a new home easy. Now she lays around all day, plays with her cat toys and has no dogs to be annoyed by. Much less the crazy family that journeyed out with her 2 months ago and crammed 10 people, 2 dogs, and 1 cat into a 12 passenger. At that point we were already exceeding capacity. haha
Anyway, so we are in Williams and we head out in the morning to the Grand Canyon. It is remarkable! Nothing could have prepared me for how surreal I felt. it was so massively huge that my mind couldn't conceive it all at one. At first it almost rejected the idea and seemed just like a painting it was so majestic and incomprehensible. Although looking at my feet following the rocks down and getting a sense of where I was standing and the reality of the massiveness of it in little bites that were more directly related helped to take in the awe- some-ness of the experience, the reality!
Rob, who has a bit of an issue with heights was ok NOT looking at it too much. He even tried to stay up on the "solid" ground by pretending to keep the dog in check. And with my lovingly gentle ways (insert a hearty laugh), called him on the fact that he was letting it get to him and the only way he was gonna really appreciate the experience would be to get outside of his comfort zone, get close and let himself experience it. There was a little hesitation so i prodded him by asking " what would you hope your kids would do? Would you really wants them to miss out on the wonderful experiences life has to offer because something makes them nervous " "After all kids' do as we do NOT as we say" He looked at me with that look that says I concede! just stop talking. Smiles and heads to the edge (where there is a safety fence) and looks over.
When he returns there is a renewed bounce in his step. Is that confidence? Did you just conquer a childhood fear? HOORAY!!!!!!
He said he enjoyed it and it was in fact cooler up close. Letting himself become vulnerable made such a difference. Not only did he enjoy the experience, feel better about moving through the fear and embracing the dream. He also spoke volumes to our children about stepping out, stepping up , and being okay!
Now comes the really exciting part, as we leave the Grand Canyon. Which feels totally awesome. There are elk everywhere and they just walk around and lie beside the roads. Being they are federally protected in the Park. they have absolutely no fear of humans. You can't feed them either so they don't approach you for hand outs either. They exist in this regal space of oneness with their environment. No fear, no begging, just calm, regal, poised confidence. It's amazing to witness!
We head to the Valle Stop to get gas it's on the corner of jct 64 and hwy 180. As we attempt to leave our car wont start. We knew we were having some battery issues but this issue was like D-E-A-D!!
We begin asking people for a jump and no one has cables. the shop doesn't even offer jumper cables. Which SUCKS! Anyway we meet this guy and he's got one of those battery charger things. He hooks it up to our battery but its too dead. He makes a few more attempts, at this point his battery charger is drained of power. Then finally relents and apologizes that he couldn't have helped. Funny thing is, his gesture of kindness alone made a difference. The fact that he was sincerely concerned about our needs was enough to jump start our hope that we'll be okay!
I guess you really never do know how your kindness will affect another. He for us was a God send that day. It gave me the courage to ask the next fellas if they had jumper cables and although they didn't it didn't stop them from driving around the corner to the restaurant and asking around if someone could help us out. This cute couple returned named Jim and Win. They had cables! We had to charge our battery for about 20 min. before it would even turn over. it was that dead. While we were waiting we are chatting and having a great time meeting these generous people who just wanted to help :)
We get underway and as we are heading down hwy 180 there is a woman standing beside the road with her thumb out. I coax Rob into picking her up. I know you shouldn't pick up hitchhikers but we had just had so much kindness shown upon us,. Returning the favor just made sense. Her name was Kerry. She was head into flagstaff to meet up with friends for the evening. She was just this tiny little thing maybe 5'2" and 110 lbs soaking wet. So, we gave her the front seat. and i sat with the kids in the back. We had gone about 30 miles when the van began to lose power. at this point our little maltese Daisy, had made her way to the front on was perched on Kerry's lap. Kerry was so excited to be interacting with Daisy and daisy completely made herself at home on.
So the van begins to lurch. it's losing power. Rob has the gas pedal on the floor and is just trying to go as far as he can. even if we crawl into Flagstaff. To set the scene a little bit for you . we are in the middle of NO-WHERE! We are at 8000 ft altitude, so its beginning to get cold. There is a no light pollution ordinance in the National Forestry so it's also gonna get VERY dark! We are losing power and have no cell service because we are so high and out of range. The van lurches again, then it begins to make this grindy sound, which is NEVER good! I'm asking what's going on, like Rob isn't going through the experience with me for the first time. He said I don't know the brake lights just went on I was like what? Then Elijah shouts FIRE!
What? he continues to ramble there's a fire and we are shooting sparks. i flip around just in time to see these red hot sparks at least an inch in diameter shooting from the back of the van. Then i hear his words we started a fire!
Rob pulls off the he and the boys jump out of the car and begin running to where we came from. I hadn't seen the fire yet, but I open the passenger door and push Kerry's legs out of the way. pull the fire extinguisher from the compartment under her seat and begin to run to follow the guys. Funny thing is while I'm running I realize that Kerry was in the car with us and this is probably the most interesting car ride she's had. I begin to laugh ass i'm attempting to run. thinking she probably wishes we'd kept going!
I get to the fire and Rob, Robert, Elijah, Ke'A, and Hank are literally stomping on the edges. Somehow Rob has a baby blanket and is swatting out and smothering the flames. Elijah and Robert are stepping on the edges to contain it. While Ke'A and hank are digging and throwing handfuls of dirt onto the fires. I show up with the extinguisher Robert runs over grabs it for me and says, " Are you kidding me?" Apparently my efforts were the least effective. the extinguisher was empty. hahaha
Lucky Eleora comes up with a jug of water and between the water, and the dirt and the baby blanket, and I wouldn't want to forget Elijah melted shoes. (Robert's harness boots held up) We put the 2 fires out completely!
Looking back I'm impressed at just how well they were able to co ordinate there efforts and get it taken care of without any delegating!
Although the fun doesn't stop there. Remember we still have a broken down van, it's getting dark, it's getting cold, and a random traveler with us named Kerry.
We return to the van and literally watch as cars fly past us. At first I tried to flag a few of them down only to have them wave back at me! Even now I chuckle wondering if they feel their wave was helpful. basically what I am hearing is, " I see you but I'm not gonna help you, and I will ignore the fact that I see a million children standing around you needing help as well, I'm gonna keep driving. Good luck and have a nice day"
i know there are times when you must be careful and it's not a good idea...but if that's the attitude we all have I do believe we'd still be sitting there now!
Rob says to me as he notices I'm going to attempt someone to help us again, " Babe, the right people will stop." I relent and put my hand down and let it be. Just a few moments later a mustang pulls up and asks if they can help. She's so sweet but its a rental and they have no cables, not to mention we are a little nervous about driving being we just put out 2 fires the size of a kitchen table top moments earlier.
However, they DO have service! I call our insurance company and am resisting the urge to scream at the representative as she continually tells me they are trying to get a good location on us could I please tell her again whats the very closest intersection to us. I'm thinking," what part of I'm not from here, do you NOT understand?" not to mention in the middle of Hwy 180 just came from jct 64 and hwy 180 and have no FREAKING idea what intersection is ahead of me being I'm NOT FROM HERE!!!!!!!! (exhale)
okay I'm smiling again because it's actually quite humorous and the memories? Awesome!
So these 2 guys pull up while i'm on the phone with the insurance. They attempt to jump our van, it wont jump. They determine that our battery terminal post for the positive, has broken off inside the battery so it's not able to properly charge. They stick a 3/8 inch bolt into the terminal space and get us going to some degree. We figure it's the best chance we got. We start loading into our van and watch the 2 guys that helped us drive off in their truck. We are feeling good. Before we are loaded n it begins to make a sound like its losing power. We begin to get in a frenzy and are like push on the gas. Hoping this will encourage the van to keep going. Amazingly all these kid's who pretend to drive start to scream and panic that they don't know how. I believe I'm more in shock that they've lost their brains in this moment and can't remember which pedal is the gas than the fact that we are just about to be in the exact same position we were in before this began. These same kids that organized themselves in putting out 2 wildfires cant find the gas pedal! hoi!
The van dies and we are back to square one. Oh yeah, Kerry caught a ride into town with the Mustang folks. Funny thing when she got into their car Jill, the woman in the mustang, says to her, "You don't have a gun do you?" and then chuckles like she's just kidding. We all know she's not and Kerry answers quietly but matter of factley while shaking her head, "no". Although I'm thinking she should if she's gonna hitchhike on these roads alone! Scary! So, maybe not the exact same spot ;)
As we are standing there laughing about it wondering whats gonna happen next a blue minivan approaches. it begins to pull over which I believe prompted the silver sedan following it to pull over as well. Funny how our actions actually give permission to others to act.
The driver of the mini-van gets out and asks how he can help. Which i thought was interesting because I couldn't apply the Bill Engvil joke "Here's your sign" here because he didn't ask the obvious. Rob asks if hes got cables. While he's grabbing his cables the silver sedan pulls his car around and parks nose to nose with us. Clyde, the owner of the van crosses with his cables and we get another jump!
We let it charge a bit more than the last time. Rob shakes hands with the guy in the silver sedan and he drives away. Clyde on the other hand asked if he could follow us in to Flagstaff to make sure we are okay. My response catches in my throat a little because i remember the last guys that left us so quickly. How generous of him to be willing to not only assist a little but to make sure and follow through till the end. I agree and as soon as the doors shut on my van i drop it into drive and hit the gas. We are crawling along. The power in the battery is fading fast. I've got the pedal to the floor and am still watching the speed gauge drop from 50, 30, 20, dead on the side of the road. On a shoulder no less! it is now pitch black outside we have NO power and still no cell service and parked across from mile marker 240. The cute couple helping us Clyde and Tabby, approach the car and offer us their cell phone and to wait until help comes.
We are there for an hour and a half before the representative finally confirms that a tow truck is coming. By this time Highway Trooper John has arrived and begins to mention how bad of a spot this is to be in being its a bit of a blind spot. I can't help it I have to respond, " Yeah I thought it'd be the best place to stop" My comment reeks of sarcasms as i begin to giggle. "We hardly chose to break down here, in fact I'd be just as happy had we limped in to town." He looks at me knowingly but not appreciating my sarcasm. this makes me giggle to myself. So, being that the tow truck is on their way and the kids are freezing. Clyde and Tabby offer to give us a ride into town. Rob, Robert, and Elijah wait with the van for the tow truck. Trooper John, who is a great trooper (pun intended) waited for 2 hours before the tow truck finally showed up!
I went ahead with Ke'A and everyone under Hank we checked out a few places. Not knowing where to go I asked God to lead us and send Angels. We ended up at the Drury Inn. It is a beautiful homey hotel! It was clean, the staff was super friendly, Wes, Krystina, Genevieve, Bryan, and Jeff They took great care of us! The Drury inn also offered a hot breakfast, popcorn and drinks from 3-10 pm, AND dinner! Yes, I said dinner! Well, they call it a "kick-back" and you get a drink card for 3 drinks as well as they put out a spread of kid friendly food, is how I'd describe it. the first night was macaroni, chicken strips, baked potatoes, chili, nachos. The second night was Penne in marinera, meatball, salad, nachos,baked potatoes, and cheese broccoli soup!
So not only were we led to a nice hotel that was reasonably priced it fed us while we were there! Kind of a big deal when you have an unexpected expense like hotel stay and car repair.! So, the Drury Inn, awesome stay!
Our car was towed to KC's auto shop apparently our brake had seized up and that's where the sparks were coming from. They charged the battery rebuilt the drivers rear brake,(it's a drum brake) and Saturday morning we were on our way. The excitement continues but that'll be it's own story!
Be kind, Live happy, and DREAM!
Anyway, so we are in Williams and we head out in the morning to the Grand Canyon. It is remarkable! Nothing could have prepared me for how surreal I felt. it was so massively huge that my mind couldn't conceive it all at one. At first it almost rejected the idea and seemed just like a painting it was so majestic and incomprehensible. Although looking at my feet following the rocks down and getting a sense of where I was standing and the reality of the massiveness of it in little bites that were more directly related helped to take in the awe- some-ness of the experience, the reality!
Rob, who has a bit of an issue with heights was ok NOT looking at it too much. He even tried to stay up on the "solid" ground by pretending to keep the dog in check. And with my lovingly gentle ways (insert a hearty laugh), called him on the fact that he was letting it get to him and the only way he was gonna really appreciate the experience would be to get outside of his comfort zone, get close and let himself experience it. There was a little hesitation so i prodded him by asking " what would you hope your kids would do? Would you really wants them to miss out on the wonderful experiences life has to offer because something makes them nervous " "After all kids' do as we do NOT as we say" He looked at me with that look that says I concede! just stop talking. Smiles and heads to the edge (where there is a safety fence) and looks over.
When he returns there is a renewed bounce in his step. Is that confidence? Did you just conquer a childhood fear? HOORAY!!!!!!
He said he enjoyed it and it was in fact cooler up close. Letting himself become vulnerable made such a difference. Not only did he enjoy the experience, feel better about moving through the fear and embracing the dream. He also spoke volumes to our children about stepping out, stepping up , and being okay!
Now comes the really exciting part, as we leave the Grand Canyon. Which feels totally awesome. There are elk everywhere and they just walk around and lie beside the roads. Being they are federally protected in the Park. they have absolutely no fear of humans. You can't feed them either so they don't approach you for hand outs either. They exist in this regal space of oneness with their environment. No fear, no begging, just calm, regal, poised confidence. It's amazing to witness!
We head to the Valle Stop to get gas it's on the corner of jct 64 and hwy 180. As we attempt to leave our car wont start. We knew we were having some battery issues but this issue was like D-E-A-D!!
We begin asking people for a jump and no one has cables. the shop doesn't even offer jumper cables. Which SUCKS! Anyway we meet this guy and he's got one of those battery charger things. He hooks it up to our battery but its too dead. He makes a few more attempts, at this point his battery charger is drained of power. Then finally relents and apologizes that he couldn't have helped. Funny thing is, his gesture of kindness alone made a difference. The fact that he was sincerely concerned about our needs was enough to jump start our hope that we'll be okay!
I guess you really never do know how your kindness will affect another. He for us was a God send that day. It gave me the courage to ask the next fellas if they had jumper cables and although they didn't it didn't stop them from driving around the corner to the restaurant and asking around if someone could help us out. This cute couple returned named Jim and Win. They had cables! We had to charge our battery for about 20 min. before it would even turn over. it was that dead. While we were waiting we are chatting and having a great time meeting these generous people who just wanted to help :)
We get underway and as we are heading down hwy 180 there is a woman standing beside the road with her thumb out. I coax Rob into picking her up. I know you shouldn't pick up hitchhikers but we had just had so much kindness shown upon us,. Returning the favor just made sense. Her name was Kerry. She was head into flagstaff to meet up with friends for the evening. She was just this tiny little thing maybe 5'2" and 110 lbs soaking wet. So, we gave her the front seat. and i sat with the kids in the back. We had gone about 30 miles when the van began to lose power. at this point our little maltese Daisy, had made her way to the front on was perched on Kerry's lap. Kerry was so excited to be interacting with Daisy and daisy completely made herself at home on.
So the van begins to lurch. it's losing power. Rob has the gas pedal on the floor and is just trying to go as far as he can. even if we crawl into Flagstaff. To set the scene a little bit for you . we are in the middle of NO-WHERE! We are at 8000 ft altitude, so its beginning to get cold. There is a no light pollution ordinance in the National Forestry so it's also gonna get VERY dark! We are losing power and have no cell service because we are so high and out of range. The van lurches again, then it begins to make this grindy sound, which is NEVER good! I'm asking what's going on, like Rob isn't going through the experience with me for the first time. He said I don't know the brake lights just went on I was like what? Then Elijah shouts FIRE!
What? he continues to ramble there's a fire and we are shooting sparks. i flip around just in time to see these red hot sparks at least an inch in diameter shooting from the back of the van. Then i hear his words we started a fire!
Rob pulls off the he and the boys jump out of the car and begin running to where we came from. I hadn't seen the fire yet, but I open the passenger door and push Kerry's legs out of the way. pull the fire extinguisher from the compartment under her seat and begin to run to follow the guys. Funny thing is while I'm running I realize that Kerry was in the car with us and this is probably the most interesting car ride she's had. I begin to laugh ass i'm attempting to run. thinking she probably wishes we'd kept going!
I get to the fire and Rob, Robert, Elijah, Ke'A, and Hank are literally stomping on the edges. Somehow Rob has a baby blanket and is swatting out and smothering the flames. Elijah and Robert are stepping on the edges to contain it. While Ke'A and hank are digging and throwing handfuls of dirt onto the fires. I show up with the extinguisher Robert runs over grabs it for me and says, " Are you kidding me?" Apparently my efforts were the least effective. the extinguisher was empty. hahaha
Lucky Eleora comes up with a jug of water and between the water, and the dirt and the baby blanket, and I wouldn't want to forget Elijah melted shoes. (Robert's harness boots held up) We put the 2 fires out completely!
Looking back I'm impressed at just how well they were able to co ordinate there efforts and get it taken care of without any delegating!
Although the fun doesn't stop there. Remember we still have a broken down van, it's getting dark, it's getting cold, and a random traveler with us named Kerry.
We return to the van and literally watch as cars fly past us. At first I tried to flag a few of them down only to have them wave back at me! Even now I chuckle wondering if they feel their wave was helpful. basically what I am hearing is, " I see you but I'm not gonna help you, and I will ignore the fact that I see a million children standing around you needing help as well, I'm gonna keep driving. Good luck and have a nice day"
i know there are times when you must be careful and it's not a good idea...but if that's the attitude we all have I do believe we'd still be sitting there now!
Rob says to me as he notices I'm going to attempt someone to help us again, " Babe, the right people will stop." I relent and put my hand down and let it be. Just a few moments later a mustang pulls up and asks if they can help. She's so sweet but its a rental and they have no cables, not to mention we are a little nervous about driving being we just put out 2 fires the size of a kitchen table top moments earlier.
However, they DO have service! I call our insurance company and am resisting the urge to scream at the representative as she continually tells me they are trying to get a good location on us could I please tell her again whats the very closest intersection to us. I'm thinking," what part of I'm not from here, do you NOT understand?" not to mention in the middle of Hwy 180 just came from jct 64 and hwy 180 and have no FREAKING idea what intersection is ahead of me being I'm NOT FROM HERE!!!!!!!! (exhale)
okay I'm smiling again because it's actually quite humorous and the memories? Awesome!
So these 2 guys pull up while i'm on the phone with the insurance. They attempt to jump our van, it wont jump. They determine that our battery terminal post for the positive, has broken off inside the battery so it's not able to properly charge. They stick a 3/8 inch bolt into the terminal space and get us going to some degree. We figure it's the best chance we got. We start loading into our van and watch the 2 guys that helped us drive off in their truck. We are feeling good. Before we are loaded n it begins to make a sound like its losing power. We begin to get in a frenzy and are like push on the gas. Hoping this will encourage the van to keep going. Amazingly all these kid's who pretend to drive start to scream and panic that they don't know how. I believe I'm more in shock that they've lost their brains in this moment and can't remember which pedal is the gas than the fact that we are just about to be in the exact same position we were in before this began. These same kids that organized themselves in putting out 2 wildfires cant find the gas pedal! hoi!
The van dies and we are back to square one. Oh yeah, Kerry caught a ride into town with the Mustang folks. Funny thing when she got into their car Jill, the woman in the mustang, says to her, "You don't have a gun do you?" and then chuckles like she's just kidding. We all know she's not and Kerry answers quietly but matter of factley while shaking her head, "no". Although I'm thinking she should if she's gonna hitchhike on these roads alone! Scary! So, maybe not the exact same spot ;)
As we are standing there laughing about it wondering whats gonna happen next a blue minivan approaches. it begins to pull over which I believe prompted the silver sedan following it to pull over as well. Funny how our actions actually give permission to others to act.
The driver of the mini-van gets out and asks how he can help. Which i thought was interesting because I couldn't apply the Bill Engvil joke "Here's your sign" here because he didn't ask the obvious. Rob asks if hes got cables. While he's grabbing his cables the silver sedan pulls his car around and parks nose to nose with us. Clyde, the owner of the van crosses with his cables and we get another jump!
We let it charge a bit more than the last time. Rob shakes hands with the guy in the silver sedan and he drives away. Clyde on the other hand asked if he could follow us in to Flagstaff to make sure we are okay. My response catches in my throat a little because i remember the last guys that left us so quickly. How generous of him to be willing to not only assist a little but to make sure and follow through till the end. I agree and as soon as the doors shut on my van i drop it into drive and hit the gas. We are crawling along. The power in the battery is fading fast. I've got the pedal to the floor and am still watching the speed gauge drop from 50, 30, 20, dead on the side of the road. On a shoulder no less! it is now pitch black outside we have NO power and still no cell service and parked across from mile marker 240. The cute couple helping us Clyde and Tabby, approach the car and offer us their cell phone and to wait until help comes.
We are there for an hour and a half before the representative finally confirms that a tow truck is coming. By this time Highway Trooper John has arrived and begins to mention how bad of a spot this is to be in being its a bit of a blind spot. I can't help it I have to respond, " Yeah I thought it'd be the best place to stop" My comment reeks of sarcasms as i begin to giggle. "We hardly chose to break down here, in fact I'd be just as happy had we limped in to town." He looks at me knowingly but not appreciating my sarcasm. this makes me giggle to myself. So, being that the tow truck is on their way and the kids are freezing. Clyde and Tabby offer to give us a ride into town. Rob, Robert, and Elijah wait with the van for the tow truck. Trooper John, who is a great trooper (pun intended) waited for 2 hours before the tow truck finally showed up!
I went ahead with Ke'A and everyone under Hank we checked out a few places. Not knowing where to go I asked God to lead us and send Angels. We ended up at the Drury Inn. It is a beautiful homey hotel! It was clean, the staff was super friendly, Wes, Krystina, Genevieve, Bryan, and Jeff They took great care of us! The Drury inn also offered a hot breakfast, popcorn and drinks from 3-10 pm, AND dinner! Yes, I said dinner! Well, they call it a "kick-back" and you get a drink card for 3 drinks as well as they put out a spread of kid friendly food, is how I'd describe it. the first night was macaroni, chicken strips, baked potatoes, chili, nachos. The second night was Penne in marinera, meatball, salad, nachos,baked potatoes, and cheese broccoli soup!
So not only were we led to a nice hotel that was reasonably priced it fed us while we were there! Kind of a big deal when you have an unexpected expense like hotel stay and car repair.! So, the Drury Inn, awesome stay!
Our car was towed to KC's auto shop apparently our brake had seized up and that's where the sparks were coming from. They charged the battery rebuilt the drivers rear brake,(it's a drum brake) and Saturday morning we were on our way. The excitement continues but that'll be it's own story!
Be kind, Live happy, and DREAM!
Sunday, April 21, 2013
We are headed to Cali
So we are leaving Yuma AZ. it is quite beautiful here! Never been to Yuma. Although the drive from Phoenix to Yuma was LONG!!!! To say the least. The kid's were excited to not be going through Death Valley because it gets so hot. Only to find that the drive from Phoenix to Yuma is just as hot, boring, and maybe even longer! So they made their own fun...
I look back to check on the kid's and Robert, Ke'A, and Kristian are on the 2nd seat. Chewy, Eleora, Chaka, and hank are on the first seat and finally Elijah is sprawled in the backseat by himself. I ask the kid's why they don't sit with Elijah he's got the whole seat and they all seem squished. We have a 12 passenger, there should be room. their reply,."he has no pants on!" what? " Elijah! where are your pants?" he sits up and replies very casually ," I took them off" "why?" I ask. "Because its HOT!!!!" as he falls dramatically back on to the seat.
I, at that point just turned back around in my seat and looked at Rob like, are you kidding me!
He shrugs his shoulders and smiles and all I can think is I am married to Floyd from the Muppets! We are driving the Electric Mayhem bus! Rob is in a white tank top his hair is down to his shoulders, its a little poofy from the wind, his full beard is down to his chest now, looking a bit like ZZ top but not quite as long as well as the aviator glasses he's wearing to complete the look. Actually looks alot like the 'Dude' from the Big Lebowski. W
e drive on. Pretty soon we have Chewy attempting to escape his carseat and make his way to the front seat and he did pretty well, made it as far as the cooler that sits between the driver and passenger seat. He took a note from his older brother and stripped down to his diaper and maneuvered his way towards the front was perched on the cooler before anyone noticed he had gotten out of his chair! Maybe we should rename him "Animal" ;)
We came across an accident and were stuck on the side of the road for about an hour. As we passed the site of the accident the entire vehicle had been consumed by flames. There was only the skeleton of a van left if it was a van.? Hope ambulance was already gone, hope they got out on time.
The older kids have hijacked my tablet and were taking blackmail photos of themselves. Which I intend to share bwahhahaha, then you can also experience all our fun!
See you in San Diego :)
P.S. Even now I am here typing this in the computer room at the holiday inn express in Yuma. I look up and there areRobert and Elijah with their faces pressed against the window. Robert doing a blowfish and Elijah making some sort of kissy face....wonder ifthey considered how many other faces have been pressed against that window before they chose to press their own face against it? Think I'll have to make a point to tease them about whatelse may have been pressed against the window, right where they put their lips! hahaha
I love being a mom!!
I look back to check on the kid's and Robert, Ke'A, and Kristian are on the 2nd seat. Chewy, Eleora, Chaka, and hank are on the first seat and finally Elijah is sprawled in the backseat by himself. I ask the kid's why they don't sit with Elijah he's got the whole seat and they all seem squished. We have a 12 passenger, there should be room. their reply,."he has no pants on!" what? " Elijah! where are your pants?" he sits up and replies very casually ," I took them off" "why?" I ask. "Because its HOT!!!!" as he falls dramatically back on to the seat.
I, at that point just turned back around in my seat and looked at Rob like, are you kidding me!
 |
| Floyd |
e drive on. Pretty soon we have Chewy attempting to escape his carseat and make his way to the front seat and he did pretty well, made it as far as the cooler that sits between the driver and passenger seat. He took a note from his older brother and stripped down to his diaper and maneuvered his way towards the front was perched on the cooler before anyone noticed he had gotten out of his chair! Maybe we should rename him "Animal" ;)
We came across an accident and were stuck on the side of the road for about an hour. As we passed the site of the accident the entire vehicle had been consumed by flames. There was only the skeleton of a van left if it was a van.? Hope ambulance was already gone, hope they got out on time.
The older kids have hijacked my tablet and were taking blackmail photos of themselves. Which I intend to share bwahhahaha, then you can also experience all our fun!
See you in San Diego :)
P.S. Even now I am here typing this in the computer room at the holiday inn express in Yuma. I look up and there areRobert and Elijah with their faces pressed against the window. Robert doing a blowfish and Elijah making some sort of kissy face....wonder ifthey considered how many other faces have been pressed against that window before they chose to press their own face against it? Think I'll have to make a point to tease them about whatelse may have been pressed against the window, right where they put their lips! hahaha
I love being a mom!!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Hiccup over! We are under way!!
We have finally alleviated ourselves of our hiccup! Woo hoo!! On our way with our faces to the sun, our hearts centered in joy, and our faith in God!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Hiccup
So as with any great adventure there is bound to be a few snags and hiccups. For us its my knee. I injured my knee last Decdmber at work. Saw the specialist in late February, he sucked out fluid, gave me a cortison shot andcsent me on my way.
I called my adjuster to see what to do next. Nothing he said. Well, just received a call on monday , they want me to go back to my Dr. and have him give me a definitive answer on the status of my knee.
So, I saw the doc he prescribed a visit with the physical therapist, exercises and reevaluation on Monday. Tomorrow's Monday and I suppose we'll better know when we can , really begin our adventure... Without backtracking :/
I called my adjuster to see what to do next. Nothing he said. Well, just received a call on monday , they want me to go back to my Dr. and have him give me a definitive answer on the status of my knee.
So, I saw the doc he prescribed a visit with the physical therapist, exercises and reevaluation on Monday. Tomorrow's Monday and I suppose we'll better know when we can , really begin our adventure... Without backtracking :/
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Where to begin?
So, I'm not going to pretend to have it all together cause, quite frankly I don't! But what I do have, 8 kid's, 2 dog's, a cat, and of course my life partner, Rob :). We've been together/married for almost 20 years.
Now, I say together/married because, unfortunately, I know a lot of married couples that aren't together. In fact often they couldn't tell you exactly where the other one is, and I don't mean where in the house. I mean they don't know where they are period. They are out with friends, with "their" family or just somewhere else... while they themselves are making plans to be somewhere other than with their spouse....sad truth I know :( However it is what it is, it's just not my reality.
So what is my reality? I am a mom of 8 awesome kid's, if I do say so myself ;) (and I do believe every mom should!) Happily married, again. (We had a rough patch and almost split) caretaker, exemplar, do what every other mom does kind of lady. My twist? Rob and I have decided we are done living the life we've been living! We want to travel!! I have dreamt about it since before I had babies and still dream about it now.
So, Rob and I got serious about it. We figured 1 of 2 things could happen. We could either wait till the kids were grown, and hope we're not dead, to begin travelling. Or we could begin now and take them with us. Did I mention I have 8? Our oldest is 17 and our youngest 2. We have a child about every 2 years between. Yeah, considering travelling just the 2 of us requires great courage, but to take the whole gang?... I must be mad! in the voice of Dr. Frankenstein. Actually, it may be a bit more of the latter! I am mad! Mad that I am afraid! I desire my kid's to live with courage but here I am being chicken.
So, I'm letting it go and leaving. We are out of our house and spent the last 2 nights at my cousins house in Provo. Today we are leaving just now getting the kid's fed and wrapping it up and then heading it out...question is where? Guess I'll know when we get there!
Heres to love hope and faith :) See ya tomorrow or later today ;)
Now, I say together/married because, unfortunately, I know a lot of married couples that aren't together. In fact often they couldn't tell you exactly where the other one is, and I don't mean where in the house. I mean they don't know where they are period. They are out with friends, with "their" family or just somewhere else... while they themselves are making plans to be somewhere other than with their spouse....sad truth I know :( However it is what it is, it's just not my reality.
So what is my reality? I am a mom of 8 awesome kid's, if I do say so myself ;) (and I do believe every mom should!) Happily married, again. (We had a rough patch and almost split) caretaker, exemplar, do what every other mom does kind of lady. My twist? Rob and I have decided we are done living the life we've been living! We want to travel!! I have dreamt about it since before I had babies and still dream about it now.
So, Rob and I got serious about it. We figured 1 of 2 things could happen. We could either wait till the kids were grown, and hope we're not dead, to begin travelling. Or we could begin now and take them with us. Did I mention I have 8? Our oldest is 17 and our youngest 2. We have a child about every 2 years between. Yeah, considering travelling just the 2 of us requires great courage, but to take the whole gang?... I must be mad! in the voice of Dr. Frankenstein. Actually, it may be a bit more of the latter! I am mad! Mad that I am afraid! I desire my kid's to live with courage but here I am being chicken.
So, I'm letting it go and leaving. We are out of our house and spent the last 2 nights at my cousins house in Provo. Today we are leaving just now getting the kid's fed and wrapping it up and then heading it out...question is where? Guess I'll know when we get there!
Heres to love hope and faith :) See ya tomorrow or later today ;)
Serious Communication Break Down!
I kinda am starting to think, although I understand when others are speaking, I am not being understood. As a kid I was often told that I talked to much. So, I stopped talking, as much. More it seemed as though I stopped going into full explanation of what was going on with me because I didn't want to annoy anyone. I mean how could they want to know what was really going on if the people I loved the most weren't very interested? When other's spoke I learned to listen and "feel" the details they were omitting, because that's what I wanted other's to do for me. I suppose it was a blessing in disguise because it made me strengthen my intuitive senses. Something we are all born with, the only diference is some exercise theirs while only use it only on occasion. But whether we are exercising it or not, it's still there.
By definition Intuitive means; Using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive.
However, because I developed these gifts as a child I assumed everyone functioned the same way. So, I failed to take the time to explain what was going on with me. Especially since I was told I talked to much. As an intuitive you can sense what's going on with other's, sometimes even before if they can. Although if your senses are not tuned-up then one would really have to explain themselves.
I am an Intuit and this being the case I rarely need to have details explained. Which makes relationships pretty easy for the my part.
You know how you just assume that everyone thinks the same? That what comes easy to you is easy for everyone? Well, it doesn't.
With this kind of gift intact I assumed others could "feel" what was really going on with me. I believed they knew when I was only smiling on the outside. I assumed they could "feel" when I was pretending or if I wanted/needed them to dig a little deeper because I didn't know how to say it. I felt a bit lonely at times. I also, realized I did it to myself. I had taken my gifts for granted and I've not been offering others the same courtesy of getting to know me. i hadn't taken the time to explain myself, I hadn't released the idea that i was annoying when I spoke and that their silence wasn't to be followed by a snore but rather that they were truly engaged in what I was saying. THAT WAS WEIRD! They wanted to hear me? WOW!
So, it is time for me to clarify to myself as well as the world I suppose, or just my readers :) That our vacation/adventure is more than that.
Sometimes we are heading through life thinking we know where we are going only to be blindsided by the truth that what you "thought" was going to happen isn't! And the fact that the only thing you truly have control ove ris how you respond to it!
Our current position is such, we were living in a HUGE 7 bedroom home that had an amazing backyard complete with a gazebo, detached garage that was heated, an orchard, a garden, a playground with a slide, and plenty of grass in the center to play games, and it was all outlined with a continuous sidewalk that my kids could circle the yard in for day's!!
After things didn't work out like we hoped we deiced the only thing we could do was smile :) So, rather than trying to settle back into the house and stay in Utah. We chose to give away all our furniture. Then we got duffle bags for each person, filled them with our favorite clothes, the ones we actually wear, and gave the rest away. My 2nd son Elijah did sell his bed set and made some cash but the rest is just gone. We rented a 5x5 storage for items that we couldn't replace, like pictures and momentos form our kids child hood. The rest gone.
We have no definite destination. Only the beckoning of our heart where "feeling" resides and the faith that God will prove Himself to us :)
By definition Intuitive means; Using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive.
However, because I developed these gifts as a child I assumed everyone functioned the same way. So, I failed to take the time to explain what was going on with me. Especially since I was told I talked to much. As an intuitive you can sense what's going on with other's, sometimes even before if they can. Although if your senses are not tuned-up then one would really have to explain themselves.
I am an Intuit and this being the case I rarely need to have details explained. Which makes relationships pretty easy for the my part.
You know how you just assume that everyone thinks the same? That what comes easy to you is easy for everyone? Well, it doesn't.
With this kind of gift intact I assumed others could "feel" what was really going on with me. I believed they knew when I was only smiling on the outside. I assumed they could "feel" when I was pretending or if I wanted/needed them to dig a little deeper because I didn't know how to say it. I felt a bit lonely at times. I also, realized I did it to myself. I had taken my gifts for granted and I've not been offering others the same courtesy of getting to know me. i hadn't taken the time to explain myself, I hadn't released the idea that i was annoying when I spoke and that their silence wasn't to be followed by a snore but rather that they were truly engaged in what I was saying. THAT WAS WEIRD! They wanted to hear me? WOW!
So, it is time for me to clarify to myself as well as the world I suppose, or just my readers :) That our vacation/adventure is more than that.
Sometimes we are heading through life thinking we know where we are going only to be blindsided by the truth that what you "thought" was going to happen isn't! And the fact that the only thing you truly have control ove ris how you respond to it!
Our current position is such, we were living in a HUGE 7 bedroom home that had an amazing backyard complete with a gazebo, detached garage that was heated, an orchard, a garden, a playground with a slide, and plenty of grass in the center to play games, and it was all outlined with a continuous sidewalk that my kids could circle the yard in for day's!!
After things didn't work out like we hoped we deiced the only thing we could do was smile :) So, rather than trying to settle back into the house and stay in Utah. We chose to give away all our furniture. Then we got duffle bags for each person, filled them with our favorite clothes, the ones we actually wear, and gave the rest away. My 2nd son Elijah did sell his bed set and made some cash but the rest is just gone. We rented a 5x5 storage for items that we couldn't replace, like pictures and momentos form our kids child hood. The rest gone.
We have no definite destination. Only the beckoning of our heart where "feeling" resides and the faith that God will prove Himself to us :)
Monday, April 1, 2013
Is this how it begins?
We finally are out of our home and into our new adventure. It's still a bit surreal! I had an interesting sleep last night the reality of our decision is still settling in. The only reassuring thing is that my family is still excited about our new adventure and chosen lifestyle. We did take our 2 dogs, Daisy a maltese and Jack a blonde labrador, as well as our cat Citrine. Wasn't sure she'd want to come, until yesterday. She realized that we are in fact leaving climbed in the van, which she has never done before, and began to claw at the floor. Basically marking her location. We were a little nervous letting them out last night. So we tied them to my cousins trampoline. The cat is not a fan of the dogs but she also is not a fan of being left behind...so she's adapting or shifting :)
This morning when my son let the animals out of their containers. Citrine our cat, ran away. He had tied her leash to her carrier and she wriggled out of her collar. So, when he checked on her she was gone. He, my son Hank, came into the house to tell me. I told him, well either she will come back or she has chosen to find a new path.
It's an interesting thing letting go of the need to control and really staying focused on the realization of the dream. You begin to realize everyone and thing has the right and desire to live their experience to their fullest.
So, Hank, went out to put the dogs back in the van because its raining and there was Citrine. He was so surprised. It was nice to know that she does want to be on this journey with us. Animals all have their own personalities and intelligence as we do. It's nice to know she "chooses" to go with us. :)
here's to you choosing your path :)
With LOVE!
Leilani
Sunday, March 24, 2013
What's running your life?
What's running your life?Not my house but, you get the idea :) |
We are getting down to the wire, amazing how much STUFF you accumulate! And although we've moved 3 times in the last year I continued to haul things around believing that I'll deal with it in the next house.
My approach to personal and family items as we prepare for this adventure, it has been an adventure. Every child received a bankers box for their own personal items that they absolutely love, if they don't love it or if it can easily be replaced it doesn't make the cut. For myself, because now I have not only my own things but the treasures of their childhood. I've 3 questions I ask myself when sorting; Do I LOVE it? Do I use it? Can I replace it? If it doesn't fit into those categories than it goes on to a new home. Our shed is the size of a closet to say it's 5x5 would be generous in size. I am the keeper of my children's childhood momento's. I find myself consistently getting stuck as I reminisce them playing with the item or wearing the item. I have pictures that they drew as they were learning to draw, you know, when it transitioned from scribbles to obvious arms, oversized heads and really long fingers. I find myself struggling to discard these. Some items I come across I don't even like, they've just been there for so long that I've held on to them simply because of habit or familiarity rather than desire or function. Letting go of these items has been difficult almost painful only because its been there for so long. But, in the end...I found, I rather like not seeing them around and an unexpected weight has been lifted!! Funny I wasn't even aware it was burdening me....The saying, "Things you own begin to own you"...all too true!
Here's to taking back my life!! Hope you'll join me and de-clutter a little in your part of the world!
Deep love!
Leilani
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Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Not what I was hoping for....
Do you ever get that feeling that your headed in the right direction? Only to find that your idea of what "should" happen doesn't?
We are getting ready to leave South Jordan, Utah to explore and experience the world on a whole new level of faith. We had purchased a 37 foot RV to be apart of our adventure. I figured it would take care of all the necessities of caring for our large family. Well, over the past few weeks we have struggled in every fashion imaginable with the RV and on this past Sunday out of complete frustration i called a family meeting. My hubbers and I asked the kids who wants to keep working on the RV? Not a single hand went up. Then we asked who wants to scrap it and just go with tents? Every hand went up. So, we unanimously decided to release the RV from our experience. Everybody's spirits perked up and began to take on the other tasks with great vigor.
Interestingly, my hubby confided in me that he always felt that we'd just be in tents for awhile. I too had to admit that was my first impression, however I didn't see how realistically this could be accurate. So, I bedded down the impression and tried to make the RV idea fit.
We are still headed out. We are still on our way, we are still taking all the kid's, we are still taking the dog's. And we are still letting ourselves experience the adventure of a lifetime, life! Even without the RV. Life is about changes, nothing ever stays the same, the only thing we can really control is how we respond to it.
The desired end result is still the same only the pathway has changed :)
Here's to hoping you choose to be happy, faithful, and adventurous!
Leilani
We are getting ready to leave South Jordan, Utah to explore and experience the world on a whole new level of faith. We had purchased a 37 foot RV to be apart of our adventure. I figured it would take care of all the necessities of caring for our large family. Well, over the past few weeks we have struggled in every fashion imaginable with the RV and on this past Sunday out of complete frustration i called a family meeting. My hubbers and I asked the kids who wants to keep working on the RV? Not a single hand went up. Then we asked who wants to scrap it and just go with tents? Every hand went up. So, we unanimously decided to release the RV from our experience. Everybody's spirits perked up and began to take on the other tasks with great vigor.
Interestingly, my hubby confided in me that he always felt that we'd just be in tents for awhile. I too had to admit that was my first impression, however I didn't see how realistically this could be accurate. So, I bedded down the impression and tried to make the RV idea fit.
We are still headed out. We are still on our way, we are still taking all the kid's, we are still taking the dog's. And we are still letting ourselves experience the adventure of a lifetime, life! Even without the RV. Life is about changes, nothing ever stays the same, the only thing we can really control is how we respond to it.
The desired end result is still the same only the pathway has changed :)
Here's to hoping you choose to be happy, faithful, and adventurous!
Leilani
Thursday, February 28, 2013
My Wasp, Frederick
So, I haven't been able to post pics of my new adventure. However things are still underway. So I will let you in on what I am doing and then it may be of more interest, maybe ;)
We, my husband and I, have decided to buy an RV pack up our tribe of 8 beautifully amazing kiddo's and head west! Yup, you heard me right we are heading west. To greener pastures there yonder (thick western drawl in voice). We have turned in our notice to vacate. Sorting through the items we absolutely MUST keep. Placing them in a storage unit. Selling, giving, and donating the rest. We will be taking clothes, food, and our debit card. I work from home anyway and it can be done anywhere.
I began doing that years ago when I knew I couldn't let anyone else raise my kid's. I thought I was just being a control freak and came to realize, "No, I was being a mom". It is what I signed up for. I chose to get pregnant,or not take precautions to not get pregnant. So delivering and then raising them was the next obvious step, to me. (Although I do things my own way, for sure)
I know most women feel they raise there kids, however if your child spends majority of their time with someone else and a few waking hours with you before sleeping the rest of the night. Then I'm sorry but you are not raising your kids. You are paying for someone else to "raise" them while you enjoy the mini moments of parenthood. I've done it both ways and I know being home with them full time is harder than being away for most the day..sorry if this stings but it is what it is. If you don't have time for them now they'll not have time for you when they older. "Cat's in the cradle"! Whew, I don't know where that came from but there it is.
Back on topic; my wasp, Fredrick. We are leaving life as we have known it behind!!For the last 20 years we have been the average family. Mom and dad find ways to pay the bills. Whatever it takes! Kid's are in school most the day, play sports, perform in plays, practice musical instruments, homework, chores (hopefully). We run from here to there attempting to get it all done while keeping our sanity! Hoping our marriage holds up while we grow further apart in our daily tasks. Attempting to rekindle the flame by periodic dating, feeling guilty for leaving the kid's, feeling resentful for feeling guilty. Wanting time while wanting to serve my neighbors, friends, family. Feeling selfish for wanting to be alone and annoyed that it's selfish to want something for me. All while trying to have a decent schedule at home with dinner at a decent time, hopefully before 9 pm. A clean house, well semi orderly at least and enough energy to do it again tomorrow. Whatever "it" is.
Yeah, that life, we are leaving it behind us and venturing into a whole new world!
My oldest is 17, my youngest is 2. I have a 15,13,12,9,6,and 5 year old between. They are all ours and it has been a blast but not quite what I was wanting and definitely not what I dreamt about! (as you'll know if you read my previous post ;). So we are packing them up and moving out.
We intend to be on the road by the middle of March and quite frankly, it's beginning to scare the buh-jeezies out of me! Enter Fredrick! My hubs and I went out shopping for our 4yr old. now turned 5. And when we returned there was a wasp in the sink. Now I currently live in Utah. It's February 27th and there is 4 inches of snow still on the ground. I haven't seen a wasp for months and I would have noticed if he'd just been trapped in the house. SoI couldn't very well kill the poor thing, after all he'd survived this long! And putting him outside would obviously kill him. So, that wasn't an option. The only humane thing to do, I decided was that we allow him to just chill. After all he was a very large wasp and he was probably going to die soon anyway given the circumstances and the fact that its winter! Really, he could barely fly, how much of a threat was he? Hardly, right?
As the night went on he did fly. From the kitchen out into the living room to "bee" with the family. haha!
He landed on the ground and just crawled around. Everyone was careful not to step on him, remember we are trying not to kill the guy. It seems even the dogs and cat are avoiding Fredrick. (and yes we intend on taking them with us, there will be more on that later) So everyone is giving Fredrick space to just exist. I'm sitting on the floor watching him crawl around completely amazed that he is so calm and chill. Maybe he really is gonna die soon. Then I think, "pick him up". What, are you insane? There is no way! He would sting me for sure! So I don't. I just watch him. The thought comes again but it's more a feeling "pick him up" I begin to argue with the idea of picking him, Frederick, up. I mean hello he is a wasp! According to some research they sting just because they can and they don't die. oh no! They can sting multiple times with out dying and go on there merry way and I would be left with a bunch of wasp stings! No thank you I'll NOT be picking up the wasp.I mean heavens he could sting me and then what? I'd look like a complete dork for thinking I could pick up a wasp! All the while Frederick is still crawling around the floor. We were blowing up balloons for my daughters birthday and my 2 year old hands me a balloon and there is Frederick right on the deflated balloon. I just about freaked! However, I maintained my cool, because he wasn't being aggressive, I mean this guy must really be on his last leg! I place the balloon Fredrick is sitting on in a corner by the armoire. We continue blowing balloons and chatting when i notice him back out in the middle of the floor once again crawling in circles. I have the same suggestion to pick him up go through my head.
Now, a bit about me, i believe in that kind of stuff. I believe that when something explainable happens there is a message and if you pay attention to the subtleties you will here it, the message. So, I asked him. I asked Frederick, in my mind of course. If he had a message for me and what it was. And I had a a feeling, a knowing, a suggestion if you will and I knew. Wasps are scary creatures to most people the mere sight of them causes people to get nervous. Your heart beats just a tad faster, you begin to worry you might get stung, which of course means pain and no one like that. You might even justify in your mind killing them because they serve no purpose, at least to your knowledge. So killing it's not a big deal. Then I had to take note that it had made absolutely no aggressive moves towards anyone in the duration of time it had been in our home, and with 8 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat that is not the most subdued of settings.
i then understood it's message when communication happens without words it's instantaneous. You know like when you and your bff give each other that look and you know exactly what they mean without a word? It's like that! I knew, he was delivering a message of encouragement. I knew what he was saying. He was saying, "This undertaking, this step to follow your dream. It's huge! It's scary! It's nerve racking! It's surreal! It's unrealistic! It's intimidating! Who are you to think you can? What if you get hurt? What if you look stupid? What if it doesn't go like you think? What if you look like a fool?" I continued to watch him crawl around then i stated in my mind, " If you want me to pick you up, I can't. You'll have to come to me". I was still to terrified! what if I was wrong and that's not what he was saying at all? I know i could sound contradictory but at moments like this when your courage is being challenged your mind is reeling!
Well, guess what he did? Fredrick crawled over to my left foot. I was sitting on the floor with my back against the couch and my feet flat on the floor holding my 2 yr old at this point. He layed right beside the outside of my left foot! I was terrified! Here is where the rubber would hit the road, would he sting me? Am I a complete fool? He nestled there for a minute and I thought, "Oh, he's cold. that's all he just wants some warmth then he'll go to sleep or die". well he did neither. i turned my attention to the show the kids were watching and I feel it! I feel him probing my foot with his front legs and antennas! eek! it's gonna happen, he's gonna sting me! I'm so stupid!
Well, he doesn't he crawls onto my foot! Just like I asked!!! "I can't pick you up, you'll have to come to me?" I couldn't believe it. So instead of panicking like I wanted to. I breathed! In and out evenly while all the while telling my self it's ok. My daughter however is like, " Mom, it's crawling on you!" And for her sake and the hope that she'll not fear as well as keep myself in check I say, " I know honey its ok". Well he continues to crawl around my foot. then up the outside of my pant leg, to my arm that was cradling my son. Down to my hand and around my hand. At this point it really isn't bothering me much. i just don't want him to sting my sleeping baby! Wait? Why now would he decide to sting my baby? i take another breathre and realize he's teaching me not to be afraid! Even though it can look intimidating and others may have an opinion about it. The truth is you don't have to be scared! So I breathe and he decides I get it. At least thats how I felt. And he flies away. He flies away! This guy isn't dying! He flies all around like he has renewed energy! To the degree yo can hear him buzzing and all the kid's look up to watch him. Then I understand the rest of his message. "When you breathe through the fear of embracing your hearts desires, you will soar!"Fredrick Wasp. Always as a little girl I desperately wanted to talk to animals, bugs, butterflies, all the beautiful things of the world that I couldn't understand. I wanted to speak multiple languages. I wanted to communicate with everything and everyone without disruption. However I was always afraid I couldn't and inadvertently would hold my breathe "wishing" that I could rather than believing I could! Breathing and releasing the fear, reminding myself, no matter how big it is, no matter how intimidating or terrifying, we'll be ok. we can do this! When I do that, breathe and relax, I engage what is required to let myself soar and have the experience life on a whole new level! Thank you Fredrick!
May you soar to new heights!
love and hope,
Leilani :)
We, my husband and I, have decided to buy an RV pack up our tribe of 8 beautifully amazing kiddo's and head west! Yup, you heard me right we are heading west. To greener pastures there yonder (thick western drawl in voice). We have turned in our notice to vacate. Sorting through the items we absolutely MUST keep. Placing them in a storage unit. Selling, giving, and donating the rest. We will be taking clothes, food, and our debit card. I work from home anyway and it can be done anywhere.
I began doing that years ago when I knew I couldn't let anyone else raise my kid's. I thought I was just being a control freak and came to realize, "No, I was being a mom". It is what I signed up for. I chose to get pregnant,or not take precautions to not get pregnant. So delivering and then raising them was the next obvious step, to me. (Although I do things my own way, for sure)
I know most women feel they raise there kids, however if your child spends majority of their time with someone else and a few waking hours with you before sleeping the rest of the night. Then I'm sorry but you are not raising your kids. You are paying for someone else to "raise" them while you enjoy the mini moments of parenthood. I've done it both ways and I know being home with them full time is harder than being away for most the day..sorry if this stings but it is what it is. If you don't have time for them now they'll not have time for you when they older. "Cat's in the cradle"! Whew, I don't know where that came from but there it is.
Back on topic; my wasp, Fredrick. We are leaving life as we have known it behind!!For the last 20 years we have been the average family. Mom and dad find ways to pay the bills. Whatever it takes! Kid's are in school most the day, play sports, perform in plays, practice musical instruments, homework, chores (hopefully). We run from here to there attempting to get it all done while keeping our sanity! Hoping our marriage holds up while we grow further apart in our daily tasks. Attempting to rekindle the flame by periodic dating, feeling guilty for leaving the kid's, feeling resentful for feeling guilty. Wanting time while wanting to serve my neighbors, friends, family. Feeling selfish for wanting to be alone and annoyed that it's selfish to want something for me. All while trying to have a decent schedule at home with dinner at a decent time, hopefully before 9 pm. A clean house, well semi orderly at least and enough energy to do it again tomorrow. Whatever "it" is.
Yeah, that life, we are leaving it behind us and venturing into a whole new world!
My oldest is 17, my youngest is 2. I have a 15,13,12,9,6,and 5 year old between. They are all ours and it has been a blast but not quite what I was wanting and definitely not what I dreamt about! (as you'll know if you read my previous post ;). So we are packing them up and moving out.
We intend to be on the road by the middle of March and quite frankly, it's beginning to scare the buh-jeezies out of me! Enter Fredrick! My hubs and I went out shopping for our 4yr old. now turned 5. And when we returned there was a wasp in the sink. Now I currently live in Utah. It's February 27th and there is 4 inches of snow still on the ground. I haven't seen a wasp for months and I would have noticed if he'd just been trapped in the house. SoI couldn't very well kill the poor thing, after all he'd survived this long! And putting him outside would obviously kill him. So, that wasn't an option. The only humane thing to do, I decided was that we allow him to just chill. After all he was a very large wasp and he was probably going to die soon anyway given the circumstances and the fact that its winter! Really, he could barely fly, how much of a threat was he? Hardly, right?
As the night went on he did fly. From the kitchen out into the living room to "bee" with the family. haha!
He landed on the ground and just crawled around. Everyone was careful not to step on him, remember we are trying not to kill the guy. It seems even the dogs and cat are avoiding Fredrick. (and yes we intend on taking them with us, there will be more on that later) So everyone is giving Fredrick space to just exist. I'm sitting on the floor watching him crawl around completely amazed that he is so calm and chill. Maybe he really is gonna die soon. Then I think, "pick him up". What, are you insane? There is no way! He would sting me for sure! So I don't. I just watch him. The thought comes again but it's more a feeling "pick him up" I begin to argue with the idea of picking him, Frederick, up. I mean hello he is a wasp! According to some research they sting just because they can and they don't die. oh no! They can sting multiple times with out dying and go on there merry way and I would be left with a bunch of wasp stings! No thank you I'll NOT be picking up the wasp.I mean heavens he could sting me and then what? I'd look like a complete dork for thinking I could pick up a wasp! All the while Frederick is still crawling around the floor. We were blowing up balloons for my daughters birthday and my 2 year old hands me a balloon and there is Frederick right on the deflated balloon. I just about freaked! However, I maintained my cool, because he wasn't being aggressive, I mean this guy must really be on his last leg! I place the balloon Fredrick is sitting on in a corner by the armoire. We continue blowing balloons and chatting when i notice him back out in the middle of the floor once again crawling in circles. I have the same suggestion to pick him up go through my head.
Now, a bit about me, i believe in that kind of stuff. I believe that when something explainable happens there is a message and if you pay attention to the subtleties you will here it, the message. So, I asked him. I asked Frederick, in my mind of course. If he had a message for me and what it was. And I had a a feeling, a knowing, a suggestion if you will and I knew. Wasps are scary creatures to most people the mere sight of them causes people to get nervous. Your heart beats just a tad faster, you begin to worry you might get stung, which of course means pain and no one like that. You might even justify in your mind killing them because they serve no purpose, at least to your knowledge. So killing it's not a big deal. Then I had to take note that it had made absolutely no aggressive moves towards anyone in the duration of time it had been in our home, and with 8 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat that is not the most subdued of settings.
i then understood it's message when communication happens without words it's instantaneous. You know like when you and your bff give each other that look and you know exactly what they mean without a word? It's like that! I knew, he was delivering a message of encouragement. I knew what he was saying. He was saying, "This undertaking, this step to follow your dream. It's huge! It's scary! It's nerve racking! It's surreal! It's unrealistic! It's intimidating! Who are you to think you can? What if you get hurt? What if you look stupid? What if it doesn't go like you think? What if you look like a fool?" I continued to watch him crawl around then i stated in my mind, " If you want me to pick you up, I can't. You'll have to come to me". I was still to terrified! what if I was wrong and that's not what he was saying at all? I know i could sound contradictory but at moments like this when your courage is being challenged your mind is reeling!
Well, guess what he did? Fredrick crawled over to my left foot. I was sitting on the floor with my back against the couch and my feet flat on the floor holding my 2 yr old at this point. He layed right beside the outside of my left foot! I was terrified! Here is where the rubber would hit the road, would he sting me? Am I a complete fool? He nestled there for a minute and I thought, "Oh, he's cold. that's all he just wants some warmth then he'll go to sleep or die". well he did neither. i turned my attention to the show the kids were watching and I feel it! I feel him probing my foot with his front legs and antennas! eek! it's gonna happen, he's gonna sting me! I'm so stupid!
Well, he doesn't he crawls onto my foot! Just like I asked!!! "I can't pick you up, you'll have to come to me?" I couldn't believe it. So instead of panicking like I wanted to. I breathed! In and out evenly while all the while telling my self it's ok. My daughter however is like, " Mom, it's crawling on you!" And for her sake and the hope that she'll not fear as well as keep myself in check I say, " I know honey its ok". Well he continues to crawl around my foot. then up the outside of my pant leg, to my arm that was cradling my son. Down to my hand and around my hand. At this point it really isn't bothering me much. i just don't want him to sting my sleeping baby! Wait? Why now would he decide to sting my baby? i take another breathre and realize he's teaching me not to be afraid! Even though it can look intimidating and others may have an opinion about it. The truth is you don't have to be scared! So I breathe and he decides I get it. At least thats how I felt. And he flies away. He flies away! This guy isn't dying! He flies all around like he has renewed energy! To the degree yo can hear him buzzing and all the kid's look up to watch him. Then I understand the rest of his message. "When you breathe through the fear of embracing your hearts desires, you will soar!"Fredrick Wasp. Always as a little girl I desperately wanted to talk to animals, bugs, butterflies, all the beautiful things of the world that I couldn't understand. I wanted to speak multiple languages. I wanted to communicate with everything and everyone without disruption. However I was always afraid I couldn't and inadvertently would hold my breathe "wishing" that I could rather than believing I could! Breathing and releasing the fear, reminding myself, no matter how big it is, no matter how intimidating or terrifying, we'll be ok. we can do this! When I do that, breathe and relax, I engage what is required to let myself soar and have the experience life on a whole new level! Thank you Fredrick!
May you soar to new heights!
love and hope,
Leilani :)
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Is being a mom enough?
Ok, so I'm coming clean. I have always dreamed of living a life traveling and experiencing the world. I always believed that I would speak multiple languages, be thin, and have amazing opportunities and events to recall from my own memory.
Well the truth is, I do have amazing events that I can recall from my own memory but, I'm not thin, yet ;) and I don't have the all the events and experiences that I had hoped for.
I do have amazing kids, an awesome family life, date my husband regularly, make my own laundry soap, love to cook from scratch, can organize multiple event's, and keep the house clean ( ok, that is an exaggeration, I'll admit ;) BUT, I do, do the laundry, paint the house, redecorate, and love family time! So, I should be totally happy, right? I mean really that should be enough, shouldn't it? After all there is NOTHING that can compare to being a mom! And really being a mom is well worth the trade of any glamorous life. I mean if being something more was important than it would continue to nag at me, right? Like this yearning in my heart would exist, right? Like something that I know I need to remember to get done, right?
I mean if it was important to be something more i would have already become it, right? I don't know? If it is enough then why do I still have a longing for more? I would never trade my experiences but could there be more? Could I have it all? Could I experience the world AND family life? Must I have one or the other?
Well, I believe I can! In the words of John Lennon, " Some say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one", I dream of a life where I take my amazing little crew, all 8 of them, and "we" experience the world together! I witness their individual expansion and expression of self as we journey through the world together! I'm well aware that I may be very unorthodox in so many way's. However, it is yet to be seen whether that is good or bad. I mean if good things come from your decision then it was good right?
I'm not interested in raising clones or creating "mini me's". I really hope they think outside the box, see beyond their perspective and vantage point and in some way make a difference even if it's only in their own family.... guess I sound a lot like most mom's.
I must admit considering all the ways my "idea" could go wrong is enough to make me want to change my mind. But, I am driven by the desire to raise contributing, self reliant, ambitious, loving, kind, progressive people. And the only way I can think to even accomplish this is to become one!!Somehow, I MUST become the person I hope they will be! Fearless, no, COURAGEOUS, daring, willing to take risks!! Happy, joyful, ALIVE!
Funny thing is I was this way before I had kid's I would pretty much try anything that was not endangering to anyone else. All of a sudden one day I became a mom and all my fears of what "could" go wrong began to govern my decisions. Rather than seeing how it "could" go right, I''d focus on the negative. I began to let fear run my life, some may say I just became responsible, but honestly I just began to feel cranky! The fun girl I had been was replaced by a cranky ol' lady! So I've made a decision, I WILL become the woman I am meant to be! I will reawaken the fun girl that I know lies within me and I will look my fear straight in the idea and it will move! Because, no matter how big or how small each child has a purpose and something great within them and if i ever hope my children will find their's then I MUST find mine! And I really hope that mine will find there's :)
Stay tuned the next blog will be good with pics of my plan!
Well the truth is, I do have amazing events that I can recall from my own memory but, I'm not thin, yet ;) and I don't have the all the events and experiences that I had hoped for.
I do have amazing kids, an awesome family life, date my husband regularly, make my own laundry soap, love to cook from scratch, can organize multiple event's, and keep the house clean ( ok, that is an exaggeration, I'll admit ;) BUT, I do, do the laundry, paint the house, redecorate, and love family time! So, I should be totally happy, right? I mean really that should be enough, shouldn't it? After all there is NOTHING that can compare to being a mom! And really being a mom is well worth the trade of any glamorous life. I mean if being something more was important than it would continue to nag at me, right? Like this yearning in my heart would exist, right? Like something that I know I need to remember to get done, right?
I mean if it was important to be something more i would have already become it, right? I don't know? If it is enough then why do I still have a longing for more? I would never trade my experiences but could there be more? Could I have it all? Could I experience the world AND family life? Must I have one or the other?
Well, I believe I can! In the words of John Lennon, " Some say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one", I dream of a life where I take my amazing little crew, all 8 of them, and "we" experience the world together! I witness their individual expansion and expression of self as we journey through the world together! I'm well aware that I may be very unorthodox in so many way's. However, it is yet to be seen whether that is good or bad. I mean if good things come from your decision then it was good right?
I'm not interested in raising clones or creating "mini me's". I really hope they think outside the box, see beyond their perspective and vantage point and in some way make a difference even if it's only in their own family.... guess I sound a lot like most mom's.
I must admit considering all the ways my "idea" could go wrong is enough to make me want to change my mind. But, I am driven by the desire to raise contributing, self reliant, ambitious, loving, kind, progressive people. And the only way I can think to even accomplish this is to become one!!Somehow, I MUST become the person I hope they will be! Fearless, no, COURAGEOUS, daring, willing to take risks!! Happy, joyful, ALIVE!
Funny thing is I was this way before I had kid's I would pretty much try anything that was not endangering to anyone else. All of a sudden one day I became a mom and all my fears of what "could" go wrong began to govern my decisions. Rather than seeing how it "could" go right, I''d focus on the negative. I began to let fear run my life, some may say I just became responsible, but honestly I just began to feel cranky! The fun girl I had been was replaced by a cranky ol' lady! So I've made a decision, I WILL become the woman I am meant to be! I will reawaken the fun girl that I know lies within me and I will look my fear straight in the idea and it will move! Because, no matter how big or how small each child has a purpose and something great within them and if i ever hope my children will find their's then I MUST find mine! And I really hope that mine will find there's :)
Stay tuned the next blog will be good with pics of my plan!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
What's my role?
Okay, So I woke this morning and I've got a million things going through my mind that need to get done TODAY!
So, I'm thinking it'd be great for my hubber's to drive the kid's to school so I can start checking items off my to do list. When he says, "Are you gonna drive the kid's to school?" hmmm... I didn't act soon enough, if I'd have asked first then of course he'd have done it but now that he has inquired my excuse seems feeble, to me anyway. "I can hear myself now, " Well, I was gonna start on this and that, because they have to get done today!" at least in my mind they do.and you know 10 minutes will make a tremendous difference! and yes it will in more ways' than I realized.
In reality and the light of it all I know is my check list can wait. I say to him, " I guess that means you don't want to drive them." He replies that he will drive them and he really would but that reminds me "Babe it's the little things that they remember." I know I could have easily tossed that back at him but why? Why exactly would I be doing that? what point would I prove? I mean it's not a competition is it?
I look at him for a minute thinking he's trying to get out of something and then realizing I must be accusing him of this because I want to get out of it. So, rather I kiss him lightly and take my kid's to school. As I'm driving me and the kid's are chatting, then I realize he's right. It's not a task it's a privilege. Even though it's cold, and even though it's early, and even though I'm technically "not ready for the day, and someone could see me". They don't care! My 2 kiddo's that I drove to school had a moment, a moment when they knew they were the most important thing to me. A moment when even as short as a drive as it was it was a gentle reminder that "I'll drop everything for you". Whether they remember this specific moment or not. It's in their memory bank, their subconscious, the most powerful part of the brain! And in there is that memory, me taking time for them. It also reminded me of when I needed even the smallest thing from my parents and whether they were there or not and how that affected our relationship now. Hmmmm, it's been awhile since I've talked to my folks :( that's another story in itself!
Anyway, it's funny when I was a kid the social slogan for parents was to be a parent not a friend. Apparently there was a lot of bad parental behaviors. Parent's were trying so hard to be liked by there kid's, they were placing their kid's in danger's path. Throwing parties for them and providing the booze and drugs. Although, I don't recall any of my peers having such cool parents ;) I mean, they were like all up in our business. Where are you going? What are you doing? Who's gonna be there? Where have you been? It was horrible! :) (I'm kidding!) Maybe there were a handful of parents that were trying to hang on to their youth but the majority of parents were very responsible. That said I still witnessed a generation of parents going from a place of talking WITH with their kid's to talking AT their kid's! Interesting huh?, I can only imagine if I were to talk AT my friends our relationship would probably turn to sh*t! REALLY FAST!!
However, as a mom of 8 I must say the more I treat my kid's the way I would treat my friend the better relationship we have. I mean really, I would be there if my friend need a ride even if it was just down the street. I'd talk to my friend about my concern regarding their choices. I'd let them know I love "them" regardless that they might be acting like an ass! I'd realize if they felt VERY strongly about something it must be of importance and not just disregard them to being a brat. Or punish them for being frustrated or upset. And definitely I wouldn't be hitting them! Even if they did dance on the table or draw on the wall. I would however have to explain to them that isn't ok to dance on the table, you could fall off! And drawing on the walls isn't alright either. that's what paper is for. (Because they may just be trying to embrace their primitive ancestry where scribbling on walls in caves was acceptable!) So, of course as beautiful as it is WE DON"T do it and show them where the scratch paper is ;) and also, they now can help me clean it up. Lovingly of course! After all they are my friend and I'd like to keep it that way!
Interesting, I'd also never let them drink and drive, I'd tell them if they'd had too much. I'd never say they were fat or ugly! I'd never challenge their intelligence, well I might in a teasing manner, regarding their obvious blunder...good humor is critical in relationships! I'd remember being anything but who I am truly would make our friendship a sham so I'd be me and I'd be honest! ALWAYS!!
What could this possibly have to do with me driving my kid's to school? Well I realized I sometimes get so caught up in my "To-Do checklist" I forget to make/take time for those that matter most. When my 2 yr old is pulling me to please sit down and watch "blues clues" with him while I'm clearing the counter and cleaning the kitchen. and I am exasperated because I do not want to watch that it is of NO VALUE to me. I remember, right now, I am his best friend! Maybe I ought to treat him like he matters to me too. After all the kitchens not going anywhere.
You define what is most important to you by where you spend your most precious commodity, time.
May love keep you!
So, I'm thinking it'd be great for my hubber's to drive the kid's to school so I can start checking items off my to do list. When he says, "Are you gonna drive the kid's to school?" hmmm... I didn't act soon enough, if I'd have asked first then of course he'd have done it but now that he has inquired my excuse seems feeble, to me anyway. "I can hear myself now, " Well, I was gonna start on this and that, because they have to get done today!" at least in my mind they do.and you know 10 minutes will make a tremendous difference! and yes it will in more ways' than I realized.
In reality and the light of it all I know is my check list can wait. I say to him, " I guess that means you don't want to drive them." He replies that he will drive them and he really would but that reminds me "Babe it's the little things that they remember." I know I could have easily tossed that back at him but why? Why exactly would I be doing that? what point would I prove? I mean it's not a competition is it?
I look at him for a minute thinking he's trying to get out of something and then realizing I must be accusing him of this because I want to get out of it. So, rather I kiss him lightly and take my kid's to school. As I'm driving me and the kid's are chatting, then I realize he's right. It's not a task it's a privilege. Even though it's cold, and even though it's early, and even though I'm technically "not ready for the day, and someone could see me". They don't care! My 2 kiddo's that I drove to school had a moment, a moment when they knew they were the most important thing to me. A moment when even as short as a drive as it was it was a gentle reminder that "I'll drop everything for you". Whether they remember this specific moment or not. It's in their memory bank, their subconscious, the most powerful part of the brain! And in there is that memory, me taking time for them. It also reminded me of when I needed even the smallest thing from my parents and whether they were there or not and how that affected our relationship now. Hmmmm, it's been awhile since I've talked to my folks :( that's another story in itself!
Anyway, it's funny when I was a kid the social slogan for parents was to be a parent not a friend. Apparently there was a lot of bad parental behaviors. Parent's were trying so hard to be liked by there kid's, they were placing their kid's in danger's path. Throwing parties for them and providing the booze and drugs. Although, I don't recall any of my peers having such cool parents ;) I mean, they were like all up in our business. Where are you going? What are you doing? Who's gonna be there? Where have you been? It was horrible! :) (I'm kidding!) Maybe there were a handful of parents that were trying to hang on to their youth but the majority of parents were very responsible. That said I still witnessed a generation of parents going from a place of talking WITH with their kid's to talking AT their kid's! Interesting huh?, I can only imagine if I were to talk AT my friends our relationship would probably turn to sh*t! REALLY FAST!!
However, as a mom of 8 I must say the more I treat my kid's the way I would treat my friend the better relationship we have. I mean really, I would be there if my friend need a ride even if it was just down the street. I'd talk to my friend about my concern regarding their choices. I'd let them know I love "them" regardless that they might be acting like an ass! I'd realize if they felt VERY strongly about something it must be of importance and not just disregard them to being a brat. Or punish them for being frustrated or upset. And definitely I wouldn't be hitting them! Even if they did dance on the table or draw on the wall. I would however have to explain to them that isn't ok to dance on the table, you could fall off! And drawing on the walls isn't alright either. that's what paper is for. (Because they may just be trying to embrace their primitive ancestry where scribbling on walls in caves was acceptable!) So, of course as beautiful as it is WE DON"T do it and show them where the scratch paper is ;) and also, they now can help me clean it up. Lovingly of course! After all they are my friend and I'd like to keep it that way!
Interesting, I'd also never let them drink and drive, I'd tell them if they'd had too much. I'd never say they were fat or ugly! I'd never challenge their intelligence, well I might in a teasing manner, regarding their obvious blunder...good humor is critical in relationships! I'd remember being anything but who I am truly would make our friendship a sham so I'd be me and I'd be honest! ALWAYS!!
What could this possibly have to do with me driving my kid's to school? Well I realized I sometimes get so caught up in my "To-Do checklist" I forget to make/take time for those that matter most. When my 2 yr old is pulling me to please sit down and watch "blues clues" with him while I'm clearing the counter and cleaning the kitchen. and I am exasperated because I do not want to watch that it is of NO VALUE to me. I remember, right now, I am his best friend! Maybe I ought to treat him like he matters to me too. After all the kitchens not going anywhere.
You define what is most important to you by where you spend your most precious commodity, time.
May love keep you!
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